For me, it's been hard to not get down about always being single, or about seeing your friends fall in love, or being pursued. Not that I'm not super excited for my friends, I am! But it's the fact that once again I get passed by. That I'm not noticed or considered. It hurts, and makes me question things about myself and then lies come in and it gets tough. This is something that's happened many times to me and I went through again a few months ago.
But through it all, through the heartache and the questions, God has met me where I am. He's healed me of the hurts and has poured out His love over me. Recently I met a guy for coffee. I don't know if you'd call it a blind date, but this man was very sweet and charming and flattered me like crazy. And the whole time he said those things, God kept saying, "Those are my feelings. That is my heart for you. That is how I see YOU." Besides the charm, the date was a COMPLETE flop! haha, we didn't click well and God kept telling me "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" It was strange to hear, and I tried to ignore it, but I just couldn't. God guided me and led me through the whole thing, and I was obedient, and I couldn't feel better about it!
It may sound strange, but for once, someone took a look at me and considered wanting more, and yet I was the one that turned him down when he wanted another date. I wasn't the one being pushed aside, and it gave me so much more hope for the man God has planned for me.
I look back on the whole situation, and I just laugh. It truly was an awkward and crazy time, but God used the kind words of this young man, to speak to my heart and pour out His love and lead me in a way I never thought I would go.
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